A Distorted Reality.

I can honestly say that I’ve never had such fun in an examination. Not to say that I’ve necessarily done well, but the last question had me in stitches by the time that I’d finished, and parts of my answer to the third question had me laughing. Fuck the result: it was an amusing exam to take. The questions are paraphrased.

Hilarity in Question 3 – ‘Discuss the strengths and weaknesses of Source C.’

1. ‘The Archbishop of Canterbury’s religious bent is bound to make him less reliable: he’s tied to his archaic doctrine and all that it infers should hold true for family life.’
2. ‘The Times is a little too conservative and pseudo-right wing for it to be taken without a pinch of salt. Actually, maybe not a pinch: more a handful.’

Hilarity in Question 5 – ‘Explain how and why family life has changed in the last 30 years.’

1. ‘We’ve gone from the stereotypical married-couple-and-2.4-children to what conservatives would call “chaotic, widespread” illegitimacy and “ungodly” same-sex relationships.’
2. ‘Without the financial benefits, marriage came to be seen as the archaic social construct that it truly is: something more to do with the subjugation of women than expressions of love. Neither love nor money were satisfied. Cohabiting was now in Vogue.’
3. ‘The legalisation of homosexual civil unions also played a part in changing the role and structure of the family over the last 30 years: closeted men no longer have to get married to keep up appearances and satisfy the male need for possession of a loved one.’
4. ‘The old social evils of divorce and sole parenthood have dissolved. Moral dissolution: perhaps that’s what Thatcher meant by “there’s no such thing as society?” Maybe she was pining for times gone by, when women were women and the men found even bulldogs attractive.’
5. ‘God bless the nuclear family: the picture perfect, biblical standard!’ – Fear Before the March of Flames fans will understand this. Abstraction of song lyrics is wonderful.

There were more points like this: I’m sure of it. Time has made light work of these memories, it seems. The essay did most definitely descend into rant far more frequently than five times. 3 fucking pages for those 15 marks. I’ll be upset if I didn’t get them. I concluded, quoted and everything.

In all seriousness, this subject is a joke; especially our course. Morality, culture and aesthetics are taught and expected to be answered to in an objective fashion. And it’s not even interesting: I don’t really care for the high-art-versus-popular-culture debate, it’s a nihilism because they are inherently separated. The popular will remain the transiently popular, and high art will live on in the pretentiously, snobbishly interested and the genuinely interested alike; it’s just that the former far outnumber the latter. The exams could be taken by anyone with even the slightest modicum of common sense and even a rotting skeleton of what most people would call ‘opinion’. It’s so dry, so empty, so pointless. It’s just posturing: a state-sponsored excuse to bullshit to pass (oh, hi: an E is a fucking pass) an exam for a qualification no reputable institution would even look at. I’m yet to see a university offer which does not state, in bold, ‘excl. Gen. Studies‘. Knowing my luck, though, I’ll get a B/C in General Studies and have my universities of choice (Edinburgh, Manchester, Durham, Cambridge, in that order) ‘require’ an A. Sod’s law, right? To be honest, I think that I’d rather demonstrate good humour, facetiousness and the fact that I am a supercilious wanker than actually make an effort to answer these non-questions seriously. I’m being an unconventional student. Challenging social norms. Sticking it to the man. Etc.

In my mind I was torn between being facetious, quoting relevant lyrics in my answers or ladling innuendo over my answers. I think that I chose the combination best suited to an exam situation: if my examiner was female, I’d probably be pretty fucked. They’re uptight types. Though now I have the more likely situation of my marker being a conservative Christian to worry about. Hah.

Bah, I should have left for Scotland last year rather than waiting for the end of this one. I do, however, feel that I’ll be losing a lot if I do move now. My friends are the nails in my feet.