Humans are not designed for free time.
Every year, this holiday kills me.
The six weeks (or thereabout) lacking structure; lacking definition: it gets to me. I read, I write, I go out: but it’s never enough. There’s always something nagging at me; a general feeling that I could be doing more worthwhile, more enriching things. I should be reading The Brothers Karamazov rather than Generation X. What can I say though? I’m a sucker for pop-culture.
I obsess as well: God, how I obsess. My weight (as if there is anything else to me) is all that I can think about: even though I haven’t even tipped 9st 9lbs again. Vanity is divine.
I can’t wait to go back and see fat people who will make me feel better about myself. That is my sole hope for the next few weeks.
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August 25th, 2008 at: 8:12 am
You know, the worst thing that you can do is judge yourself and judge your every move.
If you want to read Generation X and not that other book - so be it! If you feel it’s worth your while, then do what ever pleases you. Life is short, and you don’t want to waist it on books that somebody else said it’s good for you. Find out for yourself what you want.
And obsessing over your weight, well I know a lot of people who do that.. and the only thing I can say is.. is you thinking about your weight, hyping yourself up over the subject .. helping you to actually do anything to loose the weight.
I’ll recommend you a book, it’s called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. If you haven’t read it, then do take time and take a peek.. For me it’s my personal bible, that helps me get through the good times and of course the bad.
Anyway
Good luck with everything!!! And keep on smiling! 
Take care..
Ingrid
August 25th, 2008 at: 9:04 pm
Seriously, I thought of that myself- I mean humans are not designed for free time.. So did my folks- seeing as these days I pretty much feel worthless just sitting here nothing to do but stare at my computer screen 24/7 and think.. think… and then some endless thinking… I gotta tell you that kills..
But hey, reading a book isn’t too bad.. Better than frying your brain crisp watching TV all day almost like mine.. Whatever would capture your interest do it! That time may never come around again..
And as for the weight part, well one can never be too careful about this touchy subject.. Touchy for me because I absolutely love food and food I guess loves me back- never gets me fat.. But you know, a daily doze of small amounts of exercise couldn’t hurt… After all, what’s really at stake?
And what’s really at stake when people have free time? Nothing really, except their sense of sensibility and worthlessness and then, it all comes down to how you handle it.. lol
Nice post… Made me think…
August 26th, 2008 at: 1:02 am
I always keep a list going of things that I would like to do when I have free time. Usually I think of those kinds of things at the worst times (like at work, school, etc.). But then when I do have lots of free time, I look back at my list and have tons of ideas at my fingertips.
August 27th, 2008 at: 1:35 am
I used to have that problem.
Then I got a degree. A job. A wife. And soon, I’ll have a kid.
I’ve pretty much cashed in all my free time until I retire. If I live that long. How utterly morbid of me.