A Distorted Reality.

I’m my three or so years of interest in photography, I have never fully understood the attraction of any of the traditionally ‘lomographic’ cameras: be it the Holga, Diana+ or the Lomo LC-A mentioned in the title. To an extent, I can understand the Diana’s and the Holga’s appeal: it’s cheap and it’s something a little different to have fun with – the fun to be had lies in the cheap construction, and that’s the entire point of the ownership of such cameras. The LC-A, however, is a different beast entirely.

With worldwide distribution rights bought from LOMO plc, the Lomographic Society possesses the monopoly over a product which was designed to be a ‘people’s camera’ in the Soviet Union. This camera which was designed to be ubiquitous is sold for £180+, and what do you get? A metal bodied though still cheaply-made and refurbished USSR throwback designed to be faulty. The fact that the vignetting of the lens is marketed as a benefit is completely and utterly offensive to anyone with an sound understanding of optics: the entire point of having a frame to fill with a lens is that the frame is filled, not cut off by bad optical design.

As for the concept of people taking snapshots with crap cameras: that is something I have no problem with. The lomography lot, however, have found a marvellous way to market their overpriced wares: a set of ‘golden’ rules for their practice; a set of rules which by their very nature require you to spend more money on film. And of course, the only way to get the ‘best’ results is to buy their heinously overpriced expired film; because, you know, the light leaks just aren’t enough for completely and utterly degrading the picture which you are taking.

Lomography’s Golden Rules

1. Take your camera everywhere you go – this is a rule that I like, I’ll concede: take more pictures, you’ll improve in the craft.
2. Use it any time – day and night - this makes sense,  taking more pictures leads to less focus on photographic gear and more pictures. It’s another than I’m a fan of.
3. Lomography is not an interference in your life, but a part of it – and here the downward spiral begins: there must be few phrases which could make out the ‘art collective’ to be a cult as this one.
4. Try to shoot from the hip - no, hipsters: you are not Henri Cartier-Bresson. Yes, he did shoot from the hip, but he had an innate sense of what would work in terms of composition: most people with Holgas probably can’t work out focus and composition mentally.
5. Approach the subjects of your lomographic desire as close as possible - now things start to get a little too One Hour Photo for my liking: this is pretty close to stalking. Again, it’s a method of keeping those who would fall into thefold of the Lomographic Society as loyal customers: there’s no such thing as a telephoto lens for these cameras, so telling these people that close-up is the only way is going to prevent their questioning of there being ‘another way.’ They also espouse rhetoric of of close-up shots being the only way to capture natural emotion in people: I’d argue that a 135mm lens from across a street is more likely to capture natural expressions given the impossibility of the subject seeing you and reacting to your photography.
6. Don’t think - yes, let’s just shoot, shoot and shoot without thought for artistic composition and spend all of our money with the Lomographic Society on more film.
7. Be fast – ah, I like this one: I don’t like to miss moments of what could be great photography.
8. You don’t have to know beforehand what you captured on film – ‘no, because you can always buy more from us.’
9. Afterwards either – I’ll agree with this one as well: the mystique in photographs can add to them. A little bit of abstract is alright.
10. Don’t worry about any rules - WHY PUBLISH THE PREVIOUS NINE, THEN. This is, by far, the least agreeable one: if you want to take (objectively) good photographs, you have to pay at least some reverence to, no matter in how fleeting a measure, the more traditional rules of artistic composition.

I hope to God that someone from the Lomographic Society is reading this and just thinking ‘yeah, he got us right.’